When someone is crazy after a breakup

When someone is crazy after a breakup

Sagar Adhikari became paranoid after seven years of unbroken love relationship ended unexpectedly. He could not leave the house. Sagar narrates that he would always have flashbacks of the moments he had spent with her.

The loss of love not only hurt her feelings, but also changed her daily life. The schedule of sleeping, waking up, eating, working all changed. They started using sleeping pills to sleep and alcohol to distract themselves.

The voice of the parents was also beginning to sound shrill. He did not like to meet or talk to anyone,' he says, 'he used to be confused about where to go and what to do.'

I loved her so much that I would marry her. Family members and friends all knew," he says. "Even now, it feels uncomfortable to be in front of them."

"In a film, I saw an actress burn all her lover's belongings to forget the pain of a breakup," he said, "I did the same." After burning the gifts, love letters, etc. that he kept, his heart was healed.

***

Ashish Karki was deeply in love with his classmate. His girlfriend was everything to him. He considered himself the luckiest person in the world. But their love broke up after three years.

Both of us were not mature. She used to make other friends and go for carefree walks," says Ashish, "but I didn't like that. One day I got very angry and beat her.' For that reason, her girlfriend blocked her from Facebook to her phone. No matter how many times he apologized, his girlfriend's heart did not melt.

"After that, she never came into my life," he says, "but I could never be away from her love."

After the breakup of love, he lost his sleep, lost his peace. He started crying. "Seeing my condition, my mother used to cry with me when she reminded me," he remembers, "My friends used to tell me how crazy I was for a girl."

He says that he tried to commit suicide when he could not control himself. "I went to the river near my house thinking I would die," he says, "but my friends found me and caught me and brought me back home." He says that he was depressed for a long time.

***

Sunita Baral of Mahottari Bardibas fell in love with her classmate at an early age. As they grew up, their love relationship also grew. They not only met and visited but also vowed to 'live together, die together'.

But when they started studying in different colleges, they started doubting each other. Both of them also exchanged Facebook passwords. When they used to meet, there was a fight due to the reason of the friends connected on Facebook. "Five minutes passed peacefully and happily, but 50 minutes passed in accusations and arguments," says Sunita.

One day her boyfriend said, 'Let's not live with fights and stress like this every day, it will hinder studies. Let's break up instead.

Sunita found it hard to bear when her lover suddenly changed. She held her lover's hand at the UN Park in Lalitpur and cried profusely. In the days that followed, her boyfriend never came close. Later I found out that he was having an affair with someone else.

When Sunita heard this, she took the rat killer she kept at home. But she was saved from death after the family members including her mother rushed her to the hospital.

***

It has now been five years since Lokantali's Anubhav Phuyal broke up. After the breakup, he has not been able to be in a relationship with any girl. He started talking to Sneha through Facebook. Then they met, and as the relationship deepened, they fell in love. Their conversation started at 8 pm and continued till 1-2 am.

Sneha started coming and going to Anubhav's house. When Anubhav's mother addressed him as daughter-in-law, Anubhav used to giggle with joy. There was talk of getting them married. Then Anubhav and his uncle Sneha went to ask for her hand. Sneha's family belonged to a wealthy family in Kathmandu. There were many helpers at home. Sneha also narrated her experience that when talking about marriage, the family needs a family dynamic. He went with his uncle saying that he would remember the experience in any way.

But Sneha's family said that they would not give a daughter to a normal family and sent her back without even asking for tea or water. Sneha's mother also threatened that if she met that boy, she would kill her by consuming poison. Sneha blocked Anubhav on everything from Facebook to phone saying 'my marriage is finally fixed'. Then the experience became crazy.

It was very difficult at that time. I have also been taking anti-depressants. I used to wake up looking at his photo. He used to sleep with his photo, he narrates the experience. A teacher by profession, he became so obsessed with love that he quit his job and stayed at home.

Breakup feels like the end of the world: study

Edward Smith, a psychologist at Columbia University in New York, studied the emotional impact of 40 people who had gone through a breakup for 6 months.

They were placed in an MRI machine to look at photos of their estranged boyfriends and girlfriends and imagine how they were rejected. What the MRI scan showed was that when the participants were thinking about their romantic upheavals, the brain was affected along with the physical pain.

Trying to forget the fun moments, sweet conversations, and loving activities spent in the past makes the pain a different place and traumatizes the heart. It directly affects the brain.

Due to this, symptoms such as lack of sleep, lack of appetite, feeling only sadness, and muscle pain are seen.

Sagar Adhikari started busying himself with other work to escape the long pain of breakup. Instead of getting up in the morning and lying in bed, he started playing badminton, going to the office in the afternoon, and chatting with his friends in the evening.

"Mental trauma due to love-breakup"

Dr. Anant Adhikari, Director, Patan Hospital

When a couple who is deeply in love breaks up, in some cases it affects the brain deeply. If a boyfriend or girlfriend talks about a sudden breakup, it can cause severe mental trauma to some people.

There are two types of reactions. One is simple and the other is complex. One kind of reaction is that at first they get angry, cry and later they start feeling guilt or regret. Thinking in this way, they think, 'Why should such a thunderstorm happen to me alone?' After a few weeks they return to normal.

It is an 'abnormal reaction'. There may be psychological risks. Such a problem may occur in those with low endurance. They become monogamous, become addicted to drugs, even attempt suicide.

Being in love, dating, breaking up. Although these things seem normal, their impact is very deep. They fall in love when they are teenagers or young. The love affair that started in a carefree manner gradually matures and there comes a moment when they cannot be separated from each other. In the meantime, it is surrounded by various complications or troubles. Neither they can continue the love relationship, nor break it.

When there is a situation where they have to break the relationship, it makes them mentally crazy. As a result, they become abnormal. Eating, playing, enjoying, speaking, working are all affected. How many fall into drugs, how many commit suicide.

It directly affects their family, friends and society. Allare Jodi's love and separation not only afflicts them, it puts many others in trouble.

Freedom from breakups

Sagar Adhikari started busying himself with other work to escape the long pain of breakup. Instead of getting up in the morning and lying in bed, he started playing badminton, going to the office in the afternoon, and chatting with his friends in the evening.

Meanwhile, there was a lockdown due to the Corona pandemic. At the same time, he shared his story with friends he met on social media. They started reminding and explaining to each other. In this way he gradually escaped from the pain of his separation.

Ashish Karki's daily life has also changed now. He is not only happy, but also busy with his own work.

"One day, my father and mother were crying because of me," says Ashish, "It was not right for a girl to make her parents cry like this." And I started watching motivational videos to keep my parents happy.

He started reading new books, going out for a walk, making friends, thinking that he should escape from the phase of love separation. "Thus gradually I came out of that situation," he says.

When Lokantali's Anubhav Phuyal broke up, he was devastated. After a five-year love affair broke up unexpectedly, Anubhav felt that the world was dark. To some extent, he had to take depression medication to escape from that pain.

But now he is free from the pain of separation. He is still taking medicine, but he is not in a weak emotional state like before.

"In a film, I saw an actress burn all her lover's belongings to forget the pain of a breakup," he said, "I did the same." After burning the gifts, love letters, etc. that he kept, his heart was healed.